


Sometimes I Just Want

by red_crate



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Deadpool being Deadpool, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Recreational Drug Use, Rimming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-04
Updated: 2017-08-04
Packaged: 2018-12-11 03:30:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11705913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/red_crate/pseuds/red_crate
Summary: I have anxiety and get uptight about a lot of stuff. Sometimes I just want Deadpool to tell me to chill the fuck out, shotgun marijuana smoke into my mouth and then eat me out until I can’t think.Peter posted the confession at eleven fifty on a Tuesday night from his beat up laptop where it perched on his knees.By the next day, he'd forgotten all about it.





	Sometimes I Just Want

**Author's Note:**

> This is completely Moonie's fault, because they were like DO THE THING and even had the plot idea saved for when I came back a few weeks later like "what was the spideypool thing I wanted to write?" 
> 
> I love them. 
> 
> Title suggestion from Twist, who aslo enabled this hot mess of id fic.

 

_I have anxiety and get uptight about a lot of stuff. Sometimes I just want Deadpool to tell me to chill the fuck out, shotgun marijuana smoke into my mouth and then eat me out until I can’t think._

Peter posted the confession at eleven fifty on a Tuesday night from his beat up laptop where it perched on his knees. Flashcards and textbooks sat, momentarily forgotten, on the plastic chair next to him while his laundry spun round and round, thumping loudly in one of the three dryers. He was meant to be editing photos and studying. Instead, he'd been anxiously avoiding responsibility for the past forty-five minutes. Sandwiched between other anonymous secret confessions, Peter's didn't seem so outlandish. When a few thumbs-up bubbles popped up in the corner, Peter smiled. He wasn't alone, at least.

By the next day, he'd forgotten all about it.

“You keep your stash in your sock drawer like you're still fucking fourteen years old.” A voice drawls from the bed.

At the first word, Peter jumps, almost to the ceiling. He instinctively goes to sling some web, but holds off just long enough to realize who is stretched out on his bed.

“ _Deadpool_?”

“The very same, across the multiverse.” Wade’s mask is rolled up just enough to reveal his mouth and several inches of scarred and puckered skin. He uses the hand holding a half smoked joint to gesture widely.

Peter rubs at his eyes. This must be some very elaborate hallucination brought on by too many energy drinks and not enough sleep.

“Hey, college boy,” Wade uses his free hand to pat the bed beside him. “Take a load off. Ain't that why you made your little wish?”

And it clicks then. The secret confession he posted three weeks ago. What else could it possibly be?

Well this is awkward.

He moves further into his room, then backtracks to lock his door in case Aunt May comes to check in and make sure he eats dinner. The last thing he needs is for her to find a superhero in his bed. Oh my God.

“Uh…” Peter sits down hesitantly on the edge of the bed. “What—”

Wade leans forward and grabs him by the back of the neck. He gasps in surprise, and thick, sweet smoke gets pushed into his mouth. He chokes at first, then melts automatically into the embrace. Wade’s gloved fingers are firm against his skin, the fabric just a little rough. Peter's shoulders slump forward as he inhales.

The wet slide of a tongue over his bottom lip snaps Peter back into action. He pulls away, licking his lips. “How did you—”

“I have my ways.” Wade squirms and pulls a wrinkled paper from one of his many pockets. “Now, first we shotgun,” he holds the paper out so Peter can see it also—it is his confession, printed out and impossible to deny— “then...ah, yes, I get my tongue in that juicy, pert little ass of yours.” His lips smirk.

Peter blushes from the root of his hair all the way down below the collar of his shirt. “That wasn't real. I...you can't….”

“Aw, Petey, you can't tease a guy like that!” Wade pouts, sticking the joint back in his mouth so he can fold up the sheet of paper and stuff it into another pocket.

Peter is _so_ confused. Still, he can't help but smile at the same teasing tone he's used to hearing from Wade. Despite the chaotic nature of the merc, there's something about him that has always calmed Peter, made him lighten up a little.

He plucks the joint out of Wade’s mouth, and takes a long drag before leaning forward to press a kiss to him again. That secret he'd posted anonymously online was a real one. He'd fantasized about this more than a handful of times.

The smile against his lips causes more smoke to escape than to be shared. It curls around their faces.

“You were supposed to tell me to chill the fuck out first,” Peter murmurs, his voice coming out low and tight.

Wade giggles. Time stretches for a little bit while they finish off the joint. It's just enough to have Peter relaxing and easing down until he's lying on the bed pressed up against Wade. This is the first time he's felt free enough to give into his desire for closeness from the merc.

“How did you find me?” Peter’s eyelids feel heavy, and his muscles like they are made out of taffy.

“IP address and magic,” Wade sits up, apparently remembering his mission. He starts working at the fly of Peter's jeans. “A little light stalking to make sure you were my type. Then,” he sucks in a breath, voice going dreamy, “I was out patrolling yesterday and I ran into Spiderman. 'Ran into,’ okay, I might have been looking for him. He's my main squeeze, ya know. Can't have him thinking I dropped him after everything we've been though!”

Peter was enjoying the rise and fall of Wade's voice and the way the fabric of his jeans and underwear bunched and rubbed against his half hard cock when Wade starts pushing them down. Then his brain catches up to what Wade is actually saying.

“Umm.”

Wade ignores him, swept up in his own story. “So I see Spiderman and his gorgeous ass. I mean, prime cut of meat right there. So good. Been wanting to get on that from way back.”

Peter watches as Wade licks his lips, helpless, and moving to accommodate as his jeans are pulled down his thighs and knees. He squeaks when he's pushed onto his belly. The jeans and underwear get yanked all the way off.

“There it is.” Wade sighs. Gloved hands brush the backs of Peter's thighs, gently pushing them apart. “'Dat ass. When I was following you around, regular ole Petey Parker with his college classes and photography hobby. I thought to myself 'wow, that ass looks really familiar.’ Then I saw you in the suit, and I _knew_. There are many great asses in the world, but yours is unique. I would know it anywhere.”

“You know who I am?” Peter can't help but crane his head, and gasp over his shoulder.

He's hard and starting to leak against his bedsheets now. The prospect of his secret identity being known isn't even enough to make him flag. Besides, he trusts Wade. If anything, this is just going to make the teasing and flirting worse. But he knows Wade wouldn't disclose his identity to anyone else.

“C’mon, baby boy, give me more credit than that.” The smile in his voice is evident, but then he's burying his face between Peter's legs and short-circuiting Peter's brain.

“Oh God,” he pants, moving a knee up so he's spread more. The first swipe of tongue up his taint and over his hole is enough to make Peter groan.

He's never actually been rimmed, but he knows enough about his body to have guessed it would be something he enjoyed. That hypothesis is proving accurate. His spine tingles and arches, pushing back to chase Wade's tongue. Thumbs hold him open as Wade circles his tongue around Peter's rim. Then there is a warm intrusion as he slowly wiggles the tip of his tongue just past the tight ring of muscle. It's maddening. Wade is making these broken sounds, like he's never enjoyed something so much in his life.

Peter rocks back and forth. His cock is trapped between his stomach and the bed. When he tries to get a hand down there, Wade braces one of his arms across Peter's lower back, pressing down. It's like he's hunkering down, ready to set up here for the fucking winter. Peter lets out a choked laugh because he can hear Wade saying something just like that. He shudders again when Wade presses a thumb against his taint, enough pressure to drive Peter crazy from the tease. He loves this. He fucking loves this and he _knew_ he would.

It only takes two more minutes of Wade tonguing his hole, fucking in and tugging at the rim, for Peter to come. It's messy and wet across his stomach. He has to press a palm to his mouth and bite down to keep from being too loud as he shudders through his climax. The sheets are going to be ruined until they get in the washing machine.

“Wade, holy shit!” He gasps out as a final broad lick slicks over his hole.

He feels boneless in the best way, the high mixing with the endorphin rush from orgasm. Peter rubs his cheek against the pillow, sighing happily.

“They say,” Wade starts up, words bouncing off the curve of Peter's ass where he's placing little kisses like stars in a constellation. “never meet your hero, because you'll be let down.” He spans both hands across the swell and squeezes before letting go.

Peter can feel his ass cheeks jiggling, but is too chill to be embarrassed right now. His eyes have slipped closed and he can hear Wade, but his breathing is starting to even out, get deeper. He's fading fast.

Wade continues as he backs off and tugs on the sheets. “I gotta say though. I was _not_ disappointed in the least. Great ass. Ten out of ten. Would tongue fuck again.”

A blanket slips over Peter, and he can feel Wade tucking it around him. Fingers card through his hair.

“Here's hoping I get many more meet-and-greets.” Wade kisses him on the cheek and Peter sighs. “G’night, sleeping beauty.”

It ends up being the best night of sleep Peter has had in weeks.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Check me out on [tumblr](http://the-redcrate.tumblr.com). I'm mostly into Teen Wolf, but I ship many things and many fandoms.


End file.
